State of the Union Comedy Hour

Here’s what I think we should do to fix what G Dubbs has started:

But first:

“The killing has continued in Bali, Jakarta, Casablanca, Riyadh, Mombasa, Jerusalem, Istanbul, and Baghdad.”

I didn’t even know he could pronounce these names… He probably can’t even point them out on a map.

Problem 1:

“And one of those essential tools is the Patriot Act, which allows federal law enforcement to better share information, to track terrorists, to disrupt their cells, and to seize their assets.” “You need to renew the Patriot Act.”

Solution:
You may be asking yourself what the problem is here. Well, the so-called Patriot Act allows the federal government to invade the privacy of anybody as long as they say that it is in the interest of homeland security. How far will their arm reach?

And renewal? um, NO!

Problem 2:

“As part of the offensive against terror, we are also confronting the regimes that harbor and support terrorists, and could supply them with nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.”

Solution:
Learn to pronounce the word nuclear… it’s new-clear not new-que-ler.

Problem 3:

“…ended the rule of Saddam Hussein, and the people of Iraq are free.”

Free from Sadam Hussein, but not the American Military.

Solution:
Devise an exit strategy that will have us out of the country at the end of this year… Maybe even June, like the Iraqi people desire.

Problem 4:

“We’re working with Iraqis and the United Nations to prepare for a transition to full Iraqi sovereignty by the end of June.”

But you have no plan…

Solution:
See above.

Problem 5:

“I will send you a proposal to double the budget of the National Endowment for Democracy, and to focus its new work on the development of free elections, and free markets, free press, and free labor unions in the Middle East.”

All this, and the American people are recieving tax cuts, lowering the income of the federal government. Where is the money going to come from G Dubbs? Education? Everyone already know that you have slashed the funding for your own “Leave No Child Behind” initiative… What’s next? All of public schooling?

Solution:
STOP SPENDING! or STOP CUTTING TAXES AND INCREASING THE NATIONAL DEBT!

A Moment of Truth

“These numbers confirm that the American people are using their money far better than government would have…”

Government = poor at managing assetts
American People = good at managing assetts

Hilarity:

…”we’ll help more and more Americans to join in the growing prosperity of our country.”

You make me laugh, G Dubbs…

Problem 6:

“Younger workers should have the opportunity to build a nest egg by saving part of their Social Security taxes in a personal retirement account. We should make the Social Security system a source of ownership for the American people. ”

Solution:
Why don’t we just get rid of Social Security alltogether. I know that I’m not going to see any benefits of the SS taxes that I pay, so why don’t we just not pay the taxes if we are a part of a certain generation?

Problem 7:

“This will require that Congress focus on priorities, cut wasteful spending, and be wise with the people’s money. By doing so, we can cut the deficit in half over the next five years.”

But you still fight a war and at the same time cut taxes… duh?

Solution:
I’ve already said it before, no need repeating it here…

Problem 8:

” I oppose amnesty, because it would encourage further illegal immigration, and unfairly reward those who break our laws”

I still don’t understand his definition of amnesty, so I cannot offer a solution to this problem.

What?:

“I ask you to give lower-income Americans a refundable tax credit that would allow millions to buy their own basic health insurance.”

He’ll be here all year…

“So tonight I proposed an additional $23 million for schools that want to use drug testing as a tool to save children’s lives. The aim here is not to punish children, but to send them this message: We love you, and we don’t want to lose you.”

“Athletics play such an important role in our society, but, unfortunately, some in professional sports are not setting much of an example. The use of performance-enhancing drugs like steroids in baseball, football, and other sports is dangerous, and it sends the wrong message — that there are shortcuts to accomplishment, and that performance is more important than character. So tonight I call on team owners, union representatives, coaches, and players to take the lead, to send the right signal, to get tough, and to get rid of steroids now. ”

Problem 9:

“That statute protects marriage under federal law as a union of a man and a woman, and declares that one state may not redefine marriage for other states… On an issue of such great consequence, the people’s voice must be heard. If judges insist on forcing their arbitrary will upon the people, the only alternative left to the people would be the constitutional process. Our nation must defend the sanctity of marriage.”

I don’t know what he is talking about here. Judges stand up for the people day after day after day. If he is talking about the recent buzz about same sex marriges, I’m all for it.

Solution:
Let two people who are in love with each other enjoy the same bennefits as a man and a woman who are in love. Does what he says about the judges make sense to anyone?

THE Solution:

“Tonight, Ashley, your message to our troops has just been conveyed. And, yes, you have some duties yourself. Study hard in school, listen to your mom or dad, help someone in need, and when you and your friends see a man or woman in uniform, say, “thank you.” And, Ashley, while you do your part, all of us here in this great chamber will do our best to keep you and the rest of America safe and free.”

A lot of us could learn from this passage… That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Well there you have it folks. The hilarity and hijinx of our president. I cannot wait until he is put out of office later this year…

8 thoughts on “State of the Union Comedy Hour

  1. HAHA, maybe it should be… hm… 😉

    Hayden, I hope that I will not see social security when I retire because I hope someone has the right mind to axe the program before then. It’s a horrible program that wasn’t meant to last past the Great Depression; however, it has lasted until today because of politicians who do not want to cut a program that people have begun to rely on.

  2. (sigh….) sad how people just cannot see the obvious…. the democrat candidates are strong, but the media is drastically downplaying bush’s popularity. so i say again, it’ll be another four years before bush is out of office.

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